dmof2
High Silver Member
Registered: Sept 07, 2008
Posts: 125
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Reply with quote | #41 |
For years he never knew the full amount. This year we have changed studios and he is so excited for the girls that he doesn't complain about the fees, although they're almost double. It feels so good to have him on our side and to tell him the truth. |
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PickyPotter
High Platinum Member
Registered: Sept 14, 2006
Posts: 3,639
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Reply with quote | #42 |
I force my husband to know. I think he would be in ignorant bliss if I let him. I want him to know about every dime we spend. Years ago we went to marriage counseling and as with many couples money was one of our issues, so I never want how much we spend on dance to be a surprise or thrown in my face. |
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2DancinDivas
Gold Member
Registered: June 30, 2008
Posts: 483
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Reply with quote | #43 |
Quote: Originally Posted by dancemom23
I don't lie about it, but I don't volunteer information either. He knows it is expensive and he doesn't seem to care - as long as I handle it. We do have separate accounts, though.
My son is a golfer and my DH handles that habit - it's not so cheap either. My son played in probably over 30 tournaments this year (and he is not done yet) plus spent a week away at golf camp. In addition to new clubs, lessons, greens fees, etc., golf is probably just as expensive as dance. I don't ask him how much he pays for that either.
Sounds like my house...my son golfs as well...both girls dance..
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Lovin' my 2 dancin' divas and golfing son! |
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LasMa
Platinum Member
Registered: April 29, 2008
Posts: 1,319
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Reply with quote | #44 |
Since our early days, I've been in charge of the finances. Money stresses DH in a major way, and our explicit deal is that if he doesn't NEED to know, then he doesn't WANT to know.
Last winter, though, he did accidentally find out. In talking about financing college, I let slip that with D no longer dancing, we'd save about $5K per year. He gave me a funny look but with the astronomical sums that were being tossed around, I guess it seemed like small potatoes. At any rate he didn't ask, and has never mentioned it.
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Mom to DD18, tapper extraordinaire |
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whitsmom
High Gold Member
Registered: July 19, 2007
Posts: 522
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Reply with quote | #45 |
hmmmm....we have separate money and my dd is my husband's step daughter. I talk over major stuff out loud, but pretty much drive the boat on the costs for my two kids. Is anyone else's dh a stepdad? Do the answers change? |
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jax1457
Gold Member
Registered: March 24, 2008
Posts: 418
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Reply with quote | #46 |
Quote: Originally Posted by whitsmom
hmmmm....we have separate money and my dd is my husband's step daughter. I talk over major stuff out loud, but pretty much drive the boat on the costs for my two kids. Is anyone else's dh a stepdad? Do the answers change?
My dh is s atepdad, and I made it known pretty early, since I pay everything for them, I make the decisions for the kids. Everything from Catholic school to dance.
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Mom to:
Michela:hip-hop, ballet, tap, contemporary, lyrical, modern, jazz
Sydney:hip-hop, ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, contemporary. modern
Charles:ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, modern, hip-hop, contemporary |
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5_6_7_8
High Platinum Member
Registered: Oct 18, 2004
Posts: 4,094
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Reply with quote | #47 |
No chance because all fees go on the credit card.
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"Contemporary choreography asks the dancer to look outside the box, beyond perfect form, to see the qualities movement itself can possess." - Unknown |
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KMCandHKCsMOM
Gold Member
Registered: April 03, 2008
Posts: 366
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Reply with quote | #48 |
No. I pay, he doesn't. I drive, arrange carpools, etc so he doesn't have to be bothered picking up his child from dance on the nights that I work. Am I bitter?? Yes. He does seem more supportive of younger DDs dance than older DD (she had moved on to other things like college, no dancing). Oh well, his loss. I have a great time with my DDs and wouldn't trade it for anything. |
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Kimber
High Gold Member
Registered: March 12, 2008
Posts: 974
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Reply with quote | #49 |
My dh knows it's expensive and I don't purposefully hide how much it costs, but I can tell he really doesn't want to know exactly what we pay every term. I felt pretty guilty last year because I don't work, and so much money went to dance. This year I am substituting at my kids' school and all of that money is going toward dance. My dh is very supportive of our kids' dancing.
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Beth
Mom to:
Abby (8 )dancing queen
Josh (12) 2nd year of dance |
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lusby305
Novice Member
Registered: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8
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Reply with quote | #50 |
Our DD has been taking dance classes for six years and my husband finally asked yesterday what I pay for her tuition. We had not talked about ti at all since whe started on the competition team 3 yrs ago. But tuition was due at the studio ans he saw other parents stunned about the checks they were writing so he becamevery curious about what we pay. |
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diamond_doll009
High Bronze Member
Registered: Sept 29, 2009
Posts: 39
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Reply with quote | #51 |
Quote: Originally Posted by lusby305
Our DD has been taking dance classes for six years and my husband finally asked yesterday what I pay for her tuition. We had not talked about ti at all since whe started on the competition team 3 yrs ago. But tuition was due at the studio ans he saw other parents stunned about the checks they were writing so he becamevery curious about what we pay.
What was his reaction? Was he shocked? |
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momtodancinggirl
Platinum Member
Registered: June 28, 2008
Posts: 1,113
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Reply with quote | #52 |
DH couldn't tell you if you asked, but it's not something I "don't tell him". I pay ALL the bills, he doesn't even know how much HE makes, lol, it's all direct deposited. I have told him, repeatedly, but I am sure he doesn't remember, lol. He did seem impressed when I told him that 3 classes at one studio is runs $86 and at another it's $132.... and the cheaper one is the better one, but ask him, and he won't remember that either. We don't spend nearly as much here as many of you do (no custom costumes or competition fees), but even if he thought it cost 10K a year (which is about 5 times as much as it actually is....), he wouldn't care as long as the bills were still paid!
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momtodancinggirl |
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PickyPotter
High Platinum Member
Registered: Sept 14, 2006
Posts: 3,639
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Reply with quote | #53 |
Quote: he wouldn't care as long as the bills were still paid!
Luckily this is how my dh is too. He thinks dance is too expensive but doesn't usually complain because we are fortunate enough to be able to pay for it. It would be different if we couldn't pay our bills, or if our other child couldn't do activities in order to pay for dd's dance. |
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PrimaMom
High Bronze Member
Registered: Oct 08, 2009
Posts: 44
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Reply with quote | #54 |
I'm pretty much in the majority here. My dh knows it's expensinve, but like someone else said, I think he still believes it costs the same as it did when my dd was 6 (6 years ago!) He doesn't ask, and I don't make it a point to show him the pricing!
He often says things like - Why can't we buy a $100 baseball bat for ds when we spend so much on dd ballet? or Sure ds can have $75 nikes, dd needs 2 pair of pointe shoes in 4 months! |
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Dancinandlovinit
Silver Member
Registered: Oct 05, 2008
Posts: 51
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Reply with quote | #55 |
My dh doesn't have a clue how much ANYTHING costs, no matter how much I try to tell him. He recently let on that he thought our mortgage was $2000 more than it really is, and that he had no idea we had a 2nd on it. And he's always mentioning stuff around that house that he'd like to do but is uber expensive (major renovations) and I'm like hello? Not in our budget. And sometimes he locks onto something in order to save. Once turned off our cable TV on us thinking that would solve everything. One day after I asked him to pick up his underwear off the bathroom floor said that "he'd like to hire help for stuff like this." I said I was pretty sure that even Bill Gates picks up his underwear off the bathroom floor. Says he wants to be involved with the bill paying but when it comes down to it, he'd rather watch his shows or sleep than sit with me to do that.
So yeah, clueless. I'd love for him to really get how much things cost. That said, we do consider our budget when it comes to dance. We limit how much and what she does. (ok, delete "we" and insert "I." Dh would love for her to do it all.) |
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jeanne4379
Diamond Member
Registered: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 9,077
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Reply with quote | #56 |
What!?! You want him to pick up his undies? I'll bet you think he should keep the toi toi lid down as welll.
Now you want to talk about unreasonable demands? I even make my dh clean the dishes every night, make the bed (he sleeps on 2/3s of it) and pick up his litter in the living room. He doesn't question this agenda. Last time he 'let' me do it he found the stuff out on the front lawn.
dh knew the costs as we always co-chaired all bill paying and dance expenses. There are just the other things that he is totally clueless about.
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"Perhaps loving something is the only starting place there is for making your life your own." Alice Koller
"Good art is a form of prayer. It's a way to say what is not sayable." Frederich Busch |
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Spitsfire
High Platinum Member
Registered: March 07, 2008
Posts: 2,842
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Reply with quote | #57 |
New place everything is charged to the credit card so we don't have to write checks so he sees everything but it's all good.
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Forgive the ones that hate you and love the ones that love you!
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